The Letter
by Livdarcy
Summary: ONE SHOT Elizabeth writes what she feels on paper, because she is unable to tell Darcy face to face. Mrs Bennet does ruins the moment


The letter

Another one shot

Elizabeth's Point Of View

At first I despised you, I thought that you were arrogant, conceited, and thought yourself so great. As time went by I hated you even more. Although now when I look back, I really was hurt by your comment at the assembly room, even though I didn't want to admit it I was attracted to you, and well the feeling wasn't reciprocated. I just thought it would be easier to hate you, rather than be attracted to you, because then, because then I couldn't get hurt.

Meeting Wickham was like a dream come true, he gave me reason to hate you, because I knew my reasons for hating you were wearing thin. You had been nothing but polite to me since the assembly rooms, but your stare was still un-nerving.

Once Wickham had told me of his dealing with you, I was ecstatic, and he also seemed to take an interest in me when you didn't. I know now that this was unfair of me, and that I should have come and told you what Wickham said, but I was still bitter about me not being handsome enough to tempt you.

When you asked to dance with me at the Netherfield ball, I must say I was very surprised, everybody was surprised. You hardly ever danced, I told everyone I did not want to dance with you, but in truth I did. I wanted to see what it was like to dance with someone so very handsome; I wanted to know what it was like to dance with somebody like you, it was a new experience.

I remember your face when we were having dinner, and my mama starting talking about Jane and Mr Bingley. I knew to be worried by your horrified, and disdained expression, but what could I do?

I have to admit I didn't miss you when you went away, I felt too bad for Jane. But when I saw you at Hunsford I was very shocked you were so unlike you cousin. He had a pleasant disposition, and well you didn't. This irritated me immensely, how could two cousins be so different, the only thing that stopped me from being attracted to him was I knew I could never marry him, which meant I would be "related" to you, and that at the time seemed unbearable.

Of course, the proposal! I will never forget it, I know I can not. The things you said were so heartless, especially since you said you loved me! You made me so angry and I went out to hurt you like you had hurt me, and I succeeded.

But then you wrote me that letter, the letter that made me so guilt ridden. I cannot tell you how many times I read, but I knew it off by heart by the time I had returned home. I wanted to write to you, apologise, do anything but what I did! I just sat in silent, thinking about you, and all the things that you had supposedly done. The one thing that always stopped me from being guilty was when I thought about what you had done to Jane. I knew it would take along time for me to forgive you, if I ever did

My Aunt and Uncle Gardiner were supposed to take me to see the lakes, but we had to go to Derbyshire instead, in other words "Darcy's county". I loved Derbyshire, I really did, but when my Aunt and Uncle offered to take me to see Pemberley, your home. Derbyshire suddenly felt very bleak. I knew I could never set foot in your house, I would not be welcome, but when we did go. You were so kind, and polite, and very gentleman like, and I almost thought you were a different man.

While we were at Pemberley I was really starting to fall for you, but I did not wish to admit it, especially when I knew there could not be anything between us after what Lydia did, with Wickham. I knew you could never marry into a ruined family.

I was right you could never marry me now, even if Lydia was married, she was Lydia Wickham. How could you have Mr Wickham as your brother in law, even you could not love me that much. You had your sister to think about, and I understood this. At this point though I knew I loved you, and it hurt. I finally had some understanding to what you felt like when I turned you down, but I was happy when Mr Bingley and Jane got engaged. This was something to take my mind off you, but then I remembered you were one of Bingley's closest friends, this meant we would be brought into closer contact. I would see you all the time, and I wouldn't be able to tell you how I felt, it was my own fault, I shouldn't have refused your proposal so hastily.

It was my own fault now if I was going to be a spinster; I could not marry anyone now but you. When Lady Catherine came, I could not think why. The last time you had called on us with Mr Bingley, you had shown no interest in me, and you left Hertfordshire soon after, and you still had not returned. I wondered was it me that made you hesitate to return, but then Lady Catherine had thought we were engaged. If only she knew that you had proposed in April. But then I realised that she was going to see you after she said I will know how to act, I did not know how you would react, and this worried me

You had returned, and I did not know how to act around you. But then you renewed your offer, and I cannot tell you how delighted I was. You were truly mine, and I was truly yours.

I disliked you at the start of our acquaintance, but now I know my heart only beats for you.

I love you Fitzwilliam Darcy with all my heart, and don't you forget it

Your fiancé

Elizabeth Bennet

"Oh Elizabeth"

"I hope this explains in full how I feel about you"

"Yes it does Elizabeth."

"I am sorry if the first bit distressed you William"

"Yes it did Elizabeth, but the ending soon soothed that hurt"

"I'm glad; I love you with all my heart, William"

"I love you to Elizabeth"

"Elizabeth! I need to talk with you and Jane" called mama from inside the house

Oh no, and she had to ruin a lovely moment, especially when I thought we were about to kiss.

"Er…..good luck with that Elizabeth. Just remember I love you"

Before I could answer, Darcy had gone

The End

I really sorry if me writing all these one shots is annoying people, if this is really bad tell me, and I will stop with the one shots.

Well if you do like feel free to tell me (smiles)

Thank you

I hope you enjoyed this

Livdarcy


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